By Dave Boyle

“The first thing to go from my memory after my dad died was his voice. The second, his laugh.”

Denise Carson

Denise was only twelve years old when her father, Richard, passed away in 1987. She still remembers the sterile, unfriendly atmosphere of the hospital room, the tubes, and the unnecessary ambulance rides. She knew, as much as any 12 year old can know, that this was no way to spend the last days of your life.

Her grandparents had met in the Philippines; her grandfather an American in the U.S. Army and her grandmother 100% Pilipino. Her dad was born in 1949 and immigrated to the United States in 1967. He was a great dancer, had an infectious smile, and owned his own business. He was just 37 years old when he passed away from cancer.

“When you lose a father at twelve years of age, you just don’t lose him at twelve,” Denise says, “you also lose him on your 13^th birthday. You lose him on your 16^th birthday. You lose him when you get your driver’s license. You lose him when you graduate from high school. You lose him when you graduate from college. You lose him at all the milestones, as you try to make sense of your life through the lens of his absence.”  Denise has memories of her dad, happy memories, and loving memories. But there are not enough of them and the ones she has are not as clear as she would have liked them to be.

Her mom and dad had divorced years earlier, but this of course was way different. Now she, her brother Ryan and her mom Linda were truly on their own. Denise’s mom was a very strong and courageous woman, and time does not permit the thousands of words it would take to do her justice. The best way to meet Linda Carson would be to read Denise’s book, “Parting Ways.” I usually find myself choosing relatively unimportant sporting events or inane political shows on television over getting lost in a good book, but this book I polished off in a few days. Denise’s depictions of her mom captivated me and made me feel like I know her. I also got to know Denise better, which is one reason why I wanted to celebrate her today.

After her mom was diagnosed with cancer, Denise decided that it wasn’t going to be like it was with her dad. This would be different. Mom would be celebrated. If it’s true that you only die when the memory of you is gone from people’s minds and hearts, then Linda Carson was never going to die.

The first thing Denise did with her mom was Life Review, learning many things  that she hadn’t known before and understanding her mom liked she had never understood her before. Denise could feel her heart melting as she listened to her mom share her pain and admit her shortcomings. Life Review also led Denise and her mom to do something that most people in that situation don’t even think of doing, cleaning out the closet, while the person is still alive. In her book Denise writes the following. “Cleaning out the closet is usually a task performed after a person dies. The ritual marks a state of acceptance that the deceased will not be returning. After the funeral and after everyone stops coming around, you are left to enter the wardrobe wafting with scents of your loved one. And by then the clothes are just clothes, and the books are just books. But what if you cleaned out the closet with the person there? I believe the life review helped us together reach this revelatory stage of acceptance before her death.”

The second phase was the Last Wish. It was now November of 2001, three months before her mom’s passing. How do you celebrate the last Thanksgiving? The last Christmas?  The last birthday? For Denise it was going through recipes with her mom and cooking Thanksgiving dinner. It was trimming the Christmas tree as Linda entertained with stories of the history of the ornaments. And it was inviting close friends over for a birthday celebration complete with cake and candles, as well as a surprise visit from the pastors and members of the choir of Linda’s home church, saying a prayer and singing Amazing Grace for her.

Denise Carson and her Mother, Linda Carson.

The final part of the journey with her mom was sitting vigil at her bedside in her last days and hours. Scripture passages were read from her well-worn Bible. Instrumental praise music hummed on the CD player. Prayers were said, and a sponge bath was given followed by a fresh pink nightgown. A last “I love you” from Linda to Denise, and a sunset. And then at 2:07, Sunday February 10^th, 2002, Linda Carson went into the arms of her Heavenly Father, surrounded by family and friends.

Denise writes in her book, “They say hearing is the last sense to go. I recited the Twenty-Third Psalm by heart. Then I opened her Bible and read Psalm 139. As I read the first verse, a song came to me, a song I hadn’t sung since I was a girl in Sunday School. The song was Psalm 139 called ‘Search Me of God.’ I sang loudly, like a sorrowful siren expelling my grief from the depths of my soul with every note.”

Search me, oh God, you know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there be any hurtful way in me and lead me in the everlasting way.

Which brings me to why we’re here today. Four years after her mom’s passing Denise crossed paths with Donna Miller, who was then the Volunteer Coordinator with Solari Hospice, and who would soon become the Director of Volunteer Services here at Hospice Care of the West. Denise followed Donna around for two years, interviewing her and chronicling the things that Donna and her volunteers did. And then in 2010 shortly after her own mother had passed away, Deb Robson accepted the position as our Executive Director, and immediately hit it off with Denise. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall in some of those early meetings as the two of them bantered back and forth about the ideas that they could bring to their new endeavor.

As I go over Denise’s book “Parting Ways” in my mind, I can’t help but be taken by the fact that Denise did a life review with her mom. Denise gave her mom a last wish. Denise sat vigil by her bedside in her last hours. Life Review. Last Wishes. Sitting vigil. Do any of those sound familiar? Shannon, Jay and their team do a fantastic job with the Life Review videos with our families. Caitlin Crommet started the DreamCatchers program four years ago through Hospice Care of the West, providing last wishes for our patients.  And our Volunteer Department provides Vigil Volunteers, so no one has to die alone. Celebration was conceived because Denise and Deb thought it was important to celebrate us as we care for our patients and their families. These are some of the things that make our hospice a fulfilling and very unique place to work, and these are things that Denise, along with Deb and Jay, have helped bring to the fore-front at Hospice Care of the West.

Denise held a celebration for her mom before she passed, and Linda was able to hear all of the wonderful things that people had to say about her, and hear about all of the lives she had touched. We hold Celebration every other month, so we can share our stories of touching the lives of our patients and celebrate each other. Denise has done such a wonderful job of celebrating us, so I wanted to celebrate her today. Thank you Denise, for bringing us your heart, your soul, your wisdom and your experiences. Your story is truly your gift to us.

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Debbie Robson, Executive Director of Hospice Care of the West, described Celebration on October 15th as “Powerful, the best one so far.”  I have to agree. I brimmed with pride and joy as I watched the Reminiscing Corner. Thank you to our Office Team. You are the cornerstone of Hospice Care of the West.

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Karyn Randall, Business Development Director, at Hospice Care of the West, is a hero for saving the life of Pat at Don Jose Restaurant in Anaheim.

Recently at Don Jose restaurant for lunch in Anaheim, Karyn Randall, the Business Development Director at Hospice Care of the West, heard a man shouting “HELP, HELP, HELP” coming from the lobby. Curious, she stretched her neck around the corner to see an elderly man embracing a lifeless woman.

“Pat,” he begged. “Please stay with me. Please stay with me. Don’t leave me Pat.”

Karyn felt a rush of adrenaline. And she threw her purse to Debbie Robson, Executive Director of Hospice Care of the West. Karyn felt herself shaking, as she ran to their side to help.

She looked down to see Pat’s face turning ashen and eyes rolling back. Her body was seizing. Karyn checked her heart.  No heartbeat. Her own fear subsided as she felt an out of body experience. She started chest compressions and giving CPR. Karyn focused on counting but still could hear the elderly man’s voice echoing.

“Please stay with me Pat,” he said repeatedly in distress.

Within minutes, the life sweep back into Pat as color returned to her face and her eyes stopped rolling. Karyn checked her heart. It started beating again.

“Can I have my fajitas now,” Pat said as she came to. The ambulance showed up shortly after to take Pat to the hospital.

Karyn sighed a breath of relief.  It took a lot of courage to save Pat’s life, as that was the first time Karyn performed CPR.

Ironically, growing up in Orange, Calif., one of six girls, Karyn recalled having a fear of hospitals and anything to do with medicine until shortly after her 21^st birthday.

Karyn carried her sick 18-month-old nephew, Alex, into the pediatrician. A battery of tests followed. And then the doctor delivered a cancer diagnosis with a one percent chance to live.

“We’re a tight knit family,” Karyn said. “But this brought us all even closer. The doctor recommended that we all learn CPR for Alex.”

The family lived with Alex at Children’s Hospital of Orange County everyday in shifts around the clock. Karyn grew a bond with the doctors, nurses and the families at the hospital.

“I couldn’t stop asking questions of the doctors and nurses,” Karyn said. She needed to know the details of the code blues and every treatment. A family member was always at his side as the life swept in and out of Alex. Even if he survived for a few years, the doctors said he would have limited brain capacity. And in her family’s darkest hour, Karyn felt a calling.

She enrolled in college to get her Licensed Vocational Nursing degree. After graduation, she joined a duo team of pediatricians in Orange. Her personal experience gave her an inner strength to guide families grappling with a sick child.

“I became a positive role model for the families,” she said. She advised families to live in the moment. A year later, Alex was released from the hospital and given a clean bill of health. The doctors at CHOC believed it was his mother and family’s positive attitude and constant vigil that kept him alive.

By Alex’s next birthday, Karyn was ready to transition out of pediatrics as she met and fell in love with a firefighter. They shared a passion for helping people in need and soon married. After the wedding, Karyn’s focus turned to starting her own family. She transitioned out of pediatrics and into marketing for a nursing home.

“My passion is geriatrics,” Karyn said. She saw her mother’s love for helping people and “do, do, do” nature in every lady in the nursing home. And her father’s drive for working to support his family lived in hearts of the men.

Two years after her wedding day, she gave birth to John Thomas.  He made her see the world differently. Sure she was a worrier because of her experience with Alex. Eventually, she took her own advice to live in the moment and bask in the joy of motherhood, whatever that brought her way. Four years later, Karyn birthed her baby girl, Annie.

As her family grew, her career in geriatrics evolved. A friend suggested she join a hospice company. Karyn’s initial reaction was “Heck no, I’m afraid of dying”. Again, her fears gave way to a deeper calling. Hospice brought together all the threads of her life experiences. She became a pillar of positive support for the families in hospice care. Four years into her hospice career, she received a call to join Hospice Care of the West. She refused, but not for long.

A week later, Karyn’s grandmother needed hospice. She gave her business card to the hospital nurse and just assumed they would call her hospice company. She then went home to prepare for her grandmother’s homecoming.

The doorbell rang and Karen Rose, R.N. a Hospice Care of the West admissions nurse stood on her doormat. Out of curiosity, Karyn invited her in. She watched in amazement. This nurse spent four hours with Karyn transforming her home into a comfortable place for her grandmother to return.

“I was like holy cow,” Karyn said. “I’d never seen a nurse work with a family like this before. It was phenomenal, the only thing I could think of was everyone deserves care like this.  The admissions nurses I worked with were in and out in an hour. Often I stayed with the family because I didn’t trust the nurse to support the family through the early hours of their transition in hospice.”

The social worker and team from Hospice Care of the West followed and supported Karyn and her care for her grandmother in such an awesome, compassionate and complete way. Three weeks later, she joined Hospice Care of the West. For the first time in her life, she felt like she wasn’t selling a service.

“I feel honored to share hospice with doctors, families and patients because I know that we all feel lucky to be there for them and I know in my heart, I buy cialis discount can deliver on every promise,” Karyn said.

The word courage comes from the Latin word heart. Karen acts and speaks from the heart. Looking back over her journey so far, Karyn overcame her fears of medicine to be present for her nephew, Alex. That experience gave her the undeniable courage to now be that present light for families. Today, her family celebrates Alex’s recent graduation from college and his seven full-ride scholarship-offers for law school.

After lunch at Don Jose, Karyn realizes you can summon the courage to make anything possible even bringing someone back to life. Karyn received a call from Jerry, Pat’s brother, to invite her out to lunch to celebrate Pat’s life at Don Jose after she gets out of rehab. Pat suffered a massive heart attack, stayed in hospital for seven days, and is now in rehab thanking God everyday for Karyn.

Debbie sent out an email to the Hospice Care of the West team sharing the story of the “Hero Among Us” and Karyn was virtually toasted by her peers via email. One toast from Alan Grotsky said, “Rarely can you go to work in the morning at hospice and SAVE A LIFE.” Another one from Erin Rodgers, remarked, “Way to Go K, you earned your angel wings today.”

As I read the emails, tears welled. I remember the first time that I heard of Karyn. Deb described her as Tinker Bell spreading the light of hospice to doctors, patients and families in their darkest hour. Now, I realize those wings existed long before the day she saved Pat’s life.

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Our deepest gratitude to Dick Bentley and his family for sharing a wonderful life review that really touches on the universal truths of the meaning of life. Mr. Bentley tells us that it’s relationships with people that make the journey interesting and worthwhile. He is striking resemblance to Clint Eastwood. As Bentley tells his stories, we feel as though we have stepped into scenes from Eastwood’s Hollywood films. These are gems of wisdom from a man who so bravely served our country during World War II. Check out his life review video.

He also talks about how important his mother and grandfather were in building the man he is today. His grandfather travelled from England to America at just 17 years old in search of a new life. Likewise, Bentley turned out to be a wanderlust kid growing up in Minnesota with big dreams of one day living in a tropical paradise. At age 16, he hitchhiked to San Francisco and then made his way down to San Diego where he stowed away on a boat to Hawaii. He landed a job with Filipino migrant workers in the sugar cane fields. The sugar cane field foreman had a reputation for treating the migrant workers like slaves. One day, he tried to push Bentley, who was a very mild manner man. Finally, Bentley had enough, turned around, punched the foreman in the head and knocked him out. Everyone thought he was dead. Bentley rose to become a local hero and earned the name “One-Punch Bentley.”

He left the cane fields to work for a company that delivered oil to Pearl Harbor. On the morning of December 7, 1941, he didn’t deliver oil to harbor but he did see the Japanese planes flying so low that he could see the pilot. The day after the attack on Pearl Harbor, he returned to the mainland to become a pilot to fly in World War II. He flew 31 bombing missions from North Africa to Europe.  On the last mission his plane crashed off the coast of Sicily, and he swam for two hours. And an Italian fisherman picked him up. He was taken to the Italian war quarters and became a prisoner of

war to the Germans. General George Patton liberated the prison camp. So Bentley recalled seeing the commander in action on the day of his freedom.  After the war, Mr. Bentley became aerospace engineer and worked on the satellite that made the first transatlantic phone call a reality.

Some 25 years later when Mr. Bentley returned to Hawaii with his family, his daughter recalled the all the Filipinos running up to her father, who was a local legend. They were all cheering “One-Punch Bentley.” He will remain a local legend in Hawaii. And for us, Mr. Bentley will be forever remembered for serving country and giving us gems of wisdom.

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Lights, Camera, Action! Yes, we filmed a commercial with a real hospice patient, Arline Perrizo at 95 years old, her daughter, Mary, and her team of “hospice angels” from Hospice Care of the West in Orange County, Calif. Arline is star. Check out the commercial. It’s now airing. Thank you Arline and Mary! Like a real movie star, Arline started the day in hair and make-up with professional stylist and hospice volunteer, Nancy Johnson.

Jay Gianukos, the director of the commercial, filmed Arline in the spotlight. She basked in all of the attention.She then joined me on the film set equipped with lights, video cameras, sound equipment and a crew in her living room. I interviewed Arline, who was an elementary school teacher and by doing this commercial she had a chance to teach one last time. This lesson would take place on a film set instead of her classroom and her students would be our community in need of learning how much hospice benefited her life and her daughter’s. Mary wanted her mother to stay at home but her mother had taken a bad fall that landed her in hospital. When she was discharged, Hospice Care of the West came on to help Mary care for her Mom and provide a safety net of support that has brought them so much relief and peace.

Hospice is a team approach to end-of-life care in the home, or wherever a patient calls home, for the patient with a life expectancy of six months or less to live. Mary and Arline have support from a nurse, social worker, spiritual care counselor, home health aid and volunteer. Read more about hospice care here. Also, the volunteer services at Hospice Care of the West brought Mary and Arlene so much joy. Shannon Sirovy, the director of volunteer services at Hospice Care of the West, had already filmed a life review video of Arlene reminiscing about her life that she can now pass on her wisdom and legacy of memories to her children and grandchildren. The life review video is a gift from Hospice Care of the West created with volunteer hours of a life review interview that is then edited with family pictures and music. Read more about life review video here.

Thank you Arline and Mary for sharing your experiences with us and for other families to learn the benefits to choosing hospice that focuses on comfort care. Many people don’t realize that you have a choice in hospice. And choosing the right team to care for you in the most vulnerable hour is vital to living with peace and comfort even when time is limited. My most favorite moment of the commercial shoot was when Dave Boyle, the spiritual care coordinator, sat down with Arline and Mary. He asked if he could read a passage from the Bible and Arlene agreed. Then he placed his hand gently on Arline’s hand and said, “You can read it with me, if you know it.” And in an instant, a peace fell over the room as Dave read the 23^rd Psalm and Arline joined him. After he asked if she wanted him to pray for her, and she smiled “yes” and sighed relief. I witnessed each of the team members Cheryl, the nurse, Angela, the social worker, Dave and Shannon had such a gift to give and together surround them with everything that they need to make this journey that is often wrenching for families instead be a time of peace, joy and reflection.

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On the morning of our third Celebration!, I truly felt like this gathering had become a tradition of our mission to celebrate the lives of our patients and each other. Celebration! is now woven into the fabric of our daily lives and a time we have come to rely on to renew our spirits. Check out the video that gives you a flavor of what these unique Celebrations are all about.

In this season of celebrating, Debbie Robson, the Executive Director of Hospice Care of the West, and I opened the gathering by inviting the team to write the name of someone they want to remember on an ornament and hang it on the three trees that lined the doorway to the Celebration. I saw the names of patients’, Mom, Dad, friends and other loved ones’ names inscribed with love on these ornaments. Each one held the presence of that person we all spent a moment to reflect on.

So many folks walked in with such an attitude of gratitude for the Celebration! I could feel it in the air. So, I asked each person to turn to the person next to him or her and share something they were most grateful for this year. It was just after Thanksgiving and so it felt appropriate. Then I requested volunteers to share what their peers were grateful for. The Reminiscing Corner Video celebrating the Spiritual Care Coordinators followed. Please watch by clicking on the video below.

These spiritual care coordinators shared the journeys that led them into a calling to serve God and later hospice patients. They received a wide applause for sharing their stories with such genuine, authenticity.

I read the living eulogy of Kathy Rojas. There were tears flowing around the room. Thanks again Kathy for your beautiful life story. It was a honor to write it. Click here to read it.

The invitation to Celebration 3!

Then Debbie shared the story of some of the special gifts her patients have given her during her 20 years as a hospice nurse. She shared the lovely story of how this classy patient would bring out her best china to serve Debbie cookies and tea on her hospice nurse visit. They would sit, have tea and conversations about life. Then she invited others to share gifts, wisdom and experiences hospice patients had graciously bestowed. My favorite was one of the nurses sharing how she did the hula dance with her one of her hospice families in honor of their mother. She really did stand an hula for all of us at the Celebration!
It was magical. Check out the montage video above and you’ll get a sense of just how magical this open microphone time is to the team at Hospice Care of the West. We have the most amazing community thriving and celebrating in hospice!

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We invited the nurses from Hospice Care of the West to sit down at the Reminiscing Corner with life story documentary filmmaker, Jay Gianukos. These magical women care for patients in the final frontier of life. They share the joys of their life journey, the gifts of wisdom from their patients and their dreams for the next generation. Check out these special hospice nurses!

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Kathy Rojas, Patient Care Manager at Hospice Care of the West, in Orange County.

Kathy Rojas, Patient Care Manager at Hospice Care of the West, arrived at Eli’s home in Leisure World. The doctors were at a loss with Eli. They just couldn’t make him comfortable. He wouldn’t eat or drink because he no longer liked the texture in his mouth.

Kathy walked into the kitchen to find Eli, a frail man in his 70s, siting at the table. She sat down next to him.

“My mouth is so dry,” he cried repeatedly. Kathy sensed the dry mouth was connected to something more.

“Have you seen your family?” she asked.

“No, I don’t want them to see me like this. I can’t do the things I use to do,” he said.

“It would be nice to have them here, so they could be around you. And you could talk. I don’t think they’d mind if you can’t take them out to Sea World.”

Eli laughed.

“Is there something that relaxes you, like music,” she said.

He smiled.

“I’m a composer,” he said.

“Well, why don’t we listen to your music,” she said.“You can listen, and enjoy what you have accomplished.You know we have a home health aide, Marcello. He can give Robert a break. And come in, clean you up and you’ll feel like a new man.”

Robert was Eli’s caregiver and partner. Kathy turned Eli over to one of her best nurses, Jessica Bourbeau. The next day, Marcello came in and gave what Eli raved was the best bath ever. Eli began listening to his music. He called his family. And they joined him. Five days later he passed peacefully in his home.

“That’s what hospice is,” Kathy said, as her voice cracked. “When you see families come together, you know you did your job. When you can be there, when the family can’t be there, you know you did your job.”

Kathy has been a Licensed Vocational Nurse, LVN, which meant she had to practice under a Registered Nurse for 20 years. The last five years, she began to focus on becoming a RN. Kathy dreamed of becoming a nurse since she was a girl. In her Long Beach home, she would turn over her baby doll’s crib and transform it into an examining table, then dress up in her nurse’s costume and care for her dolls.

She was very close to her father. He always had high hopes that she would one day become a RN. He suffered from a massive heart attack at age 40 and was pronounced dead in the grocery store. A nurse revived him by administering CPR. From then on, he dreamed of the day his daughter would become a cardiac nurse. But after high school, she followed another dream to become a fashion merchandiser and married young. The fashion path petered out. Kathy became a mother and later followed her calling to get her LVN. She was on her way, until a divorce left her alone as a single mother of two.

Becoming a RN was no longer a top priority. She had to care for her daughters, and later a family member who was quadriplegic in her home. At the time, she worked in home health. The experience transformed her care as a home health LVN, Kathy realized that a caregiver also needs to be cared for, not just the patient. That revelation led her into hospice care focused on treating the patient and the family at the end of life. She joined a new team at Hospice Care of the West and Pam Willey, RN, became her mentor, and encouraged her to make her dream of becoming a RN a reality.

Yet, Kathy didn’t pursue that dream until a wake up call on Fourth of July, five years ago. Her father committed suicide. He was a veteran and at his funeral, his mother cried with a heart full of regret. Kathy remained

composed during the service, having to help her mother.

Shortly after his passing, she attended the death of one of her patients. Kathy broke down when the patient’s body was carried out. It’s so final. From then on, she cautions families and all of her nurses to prepare for the body of a loved one to depart from the home. She asks the family if they would like to bath and dress the body, in the case of veteran, she makes sure he is in uniform, so that he goes out with dignity, and honor.

“When a patient passes, I make sure our nurses aren’t just going there to pronounce and leave, because the family needs us,” she said. “I attended a death in Long Beach, and while I was charting, I saw a picture on the wall of their Dad in the service. So, I asked about him and the stories of their father just poured out. They were so happy and said, ‘Wow no one ever asked us that before.’ You just have to pick something small to talk about and watch the patient or family just open up.”

Kathy reflected that the Celebration at Hospice Care of the West reminds us of the power in celebrating our patients every day, even if it’s something as small as just asking about a picture hanging on the wall above the bed. That conversation becomes a celebration of his or her life.

Recently, Kathy received a tribute of her own at the Hospice Care of the West Celebration. A few months ago, she passed her State Boards. Today, Kathy is a full-fledged RN.

“My Dad never got to see me become a hospice nurse. I did it for him,” she said. “And I always tell my daughters now, to follow your dreams and never give up, no matter how long it takes, you can make your dreams come true.”

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Marie Lasher, patient of Hospice Care of the West, shares her life stories and wisdom in recorded life review video to give as a gift to her family.

At 102 years old, Marie Lasher dresses for the premiere of her life story in a small movie theater near her Laguna Hills, California home. Shannon Sirovy, Director of Volunteer Services of Hospice Care of the West, accompanies Marie in a wheelchair into the elevator. As they enter the elevator, they see posters of Marie on the wall inviting the community to her movie. Yvette Aiello, the volunteer editor of Marie’s life review video, joins them.

“Look Marie, you’re famous,” Shannon says.

“Well, Marie says beaming. “I’ll only sign autographs, no checks.”

As they enter the movie theater, Marie receives a red carpet welcome.

Friends surround her from the community she has lived in for three decades. As she basks in a wave of embraces and endearments from friends, she shines like a star in the spotlight. Wafts of fresh popcorn fill the theater as the guests sit take their seats. The theater is full.

“This is all for me,” Marie says in a coy voice.

As the lights of the theater dim, Marie shows up on screen. And she watches herself on the silver screen retrace her life’s footsteps, stories and lessons that began in Ohio when she was born. Marie shares her personal history and journey that led to the life review interview video recorded by Shannon, Director of Volunteer Services at Hospice Care of the West, just a few week before.

On that memorable afternoon shortly after Marie entered hospice care, her bedroom is transformed into what appears to be the dressing room of a movie star. A video camera is on a tripod set up and make-up is being applied to her face.

Marie selects a red lipstick. She beams like a super star.

“I think that will show up better on the camera,” Marie says directing Shannon to put on her lipstick. “I’ll see if I can employee you as my make-up artist

“Alright, Go like this ‘muah’,” Shannon says. “Rub them together.”

“You look beautiful,” says the audience gathered around her in the room.

“Do you want me to wear the oxygen?” Marie says pointing to the oxygen cannula piping oxygen into her nose from a tank.

Tracy Filowitz, of Hospice Care of the West, behind the camera, assures her that it’s not too noticeable on camera.

Shannon tucks a life alert tag into her shirt and straightens the collar around her sweater.
“Should I wear the sweater?” She asks.

Shannon straightens her collar.

“However, I look the best,” she says beaming into the lens of the video camera.

“You look great,” Tracy says from behind the camera. “You look beautiful.”

“You look on here, that’s a good choice of lipstick,” Shannon says as she views the moving image on the video camera.

Shannon sits beside the video camera and begins the interview with asking Marie’s name and birth details.

“My date of birth, honest to goodness, is April 16^th 1910,” Marie says.

“And what city were you born in,” Shannon asks.

“I was born in Cleveland, Ohio,” Marie says.

“Do you recall the name of the hospital, you were born in?” Shannon asks.

“Honey, a mid-wife probably delivered me,” Marie says. “ In those days it was really more mid-wives than hospitals.”

“What’s your earliest childhood memory?”

“More visual to me, I can see myself as a little

girl, about 5 to 6 years old, I can’t remember anything spectacular, I know I was a tomboy, and I would jump from our porch to see how far I could jump. I was raised with three brothers.”

The phone rings interrupting the interview.

Marie answers it.

“Honey, I’m being interviewed, you didn’t know your mother was a popular woman, but they are interviewing me from hospice to get a little bit of my life history,” she says to her son, Lewis, calling from Denver, Colorado.

“I want a copy of everything,” says her son on the phone line to his mother. Marie repeats it to Shannon, who shakes her head saying absolutely, that is why she is doing it for Marie’s children and grandchildren. The life review video interview conducted by Shannon is a gift given to the hospice patients and their families by the volunteer services at Hospice Care of the West. A life review interview retraces the footsteps of a person’s life from birth to childhood, young adulthood to falling in love, lessons learned to chosen religious paths, parenthood to grandparenthood, to wisdoms and hopes and dreams to pass on to the next generation. This life review video is then edited with music and pictures to be passed on so the hospice patient like Marie Lasher knows a tangible legacy of memories and wisdom will live on for her children and grandchildren, great grandchildren and so forth.

“Okay, you’ll get it,” Marie says to her son and hangs up the phone.

“Proceed, she says to Shannon.

Marie shared the story of how her family coming to America from Hungry and Austria. Those of her family that stayed behind, she laments were killed in the gas chambers when the Nazis invaded Europe during World War II.

Marie’s father played pinochle as a weekend gatherings

that brought the family together in America. She knew all her aunts and uncles. Pinochle brought together not only family but also friends from the neighborhood. The gatherings punctuated her childhood while also setting the course for her adulthood. As it was during one of these games that she met and fell in love with the man who would become her husband in 1944 and her son, Lewis, was born in 1945.

“So, you should start counting,” she chuckled. “As is the usual thing with people, when the child is born a little early…” Marie starts counting on her fingers.

“I had a lovely life,” she says smiling.

Her husband owned a bar called “Wander Inn” she said everyone in the neighborhood would say “wander in, stagger out…Though if anyone was drunk in their bar, my husband or his brother would drive them home, they never let them walk the streets.”

Her husband learned the trade of jewelry from her father who was a manufacturing jeweler in New York City. The jewelry business translated to her husband becoming a traveling salesman.

“I had a lot of fun with him,” she says. “We use to showdown at the Biltmore Hotel. I use to work with him selling jewelry.”

Since her husband was out of town a lot, she was a father and a mother to her son, Lewis. She spoke of keeping the books for her husband’s business as a jeweler.

“I took him to his baseball games,” she says. “I was a scout mother, I had the scout meetings at my house. I was active in the PTA in the elementary school, junior and senior high because I felt it was my duty as my mother.”

Marie like many women today struggled to care for her son, her aging father, keeping her husband’s books and working as a secretary.  Eventually, she became a senior clerk in Los Angeles County Adoption Services.

Marie’s religious life began from the day she was born into a Jewish family. Her mother kept a Kosher home. She attended a synagogue in her youth and was married in that synagogue in Ohio. Later, when she migrated to California because of her son’s asthma, she and her husband joined a synagogue in Los Angeles. Marie dedicated her life to volunteering in the temple and also civic duty.

“I enjoy being a volunteer,” she says.

Marie talked about how her parents observed the holy days and how they attended services in the temple at sundown. She remembered as a child always receiving new clothes for the holidays. Marie pulls out the Bible that she carried and read as child in Sunday school. During an earthquake, the Bible was ruined. And her niece recently had it restored and re-bound with her family history, which make the book valuable at so many levels for Marie.

Marie then looked directly into the camera and said as if to the next generations.

“Know your parents backgrounds,” she said. “And what they did, if you can make a recording like this, you will be amazed in later years. You don’t want to be left asking why didn’t I ask mom or dad this. If you ask now, you’ll know for the future.”

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